From the moment she came into view, Barry couldn’t take his eyes off her.  She was beautiful, but there was something else—the elegance and confidence of a woman without a care in the world.

Seizing the moment, Barry knew what he needed to do:  Approaching her, he introduced himself.

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” he said while lowering himself to bended knee.  “Would you marry me?”

Barry, it appears, doesn’t mess around with small talk.  But in his rush to attain marital bliss, might he be skipping a few important steps? 

As ridiculous as this scenario might sound, many high school students make equally rash decisions when proposing to prospective colleges.

Instead of considering all their college options in a thoughtful and meaningful way, these students make two- or four-year educational commitments based mostly on gut reactions and quick first impressions.

The all-too-often result:  a college choice that reflects the popularity of the football team, the likeability of the campus tour guide, the convenience of a local school or the influence of a high school sweetheart.  

For those students and parents who would rather make a more informed decision—first “dating” a prospective college before proposing permanent educational matrimony—consider asking the following four questions.

1.  Does the college support how I learn best?

One of the most important duties of any college is to create an environment that encourages and supports how you learn—not solely in the classroom, but also through extracurricular activities, club participation, experiential learning opportunities, and more.

Students who benefit from more personalized attention, for instance, might choose a college with greater faculty-student interaction, including smaller classes, prompt written or oral feedback on coursework, career planning with a faculty member in their field, and the opportunity to work with professors on projects outside of class.

On the other hand, students who respond well to active and collaborative learning methods might choose a college that emphasizes class discussion, team presentations, internships, volunteer work, senior-year capstone projects, and other opportunities to apply what they are learning in different settings.

Given that two-thirds of college students will change their academic majors at least once, selecting a college that matches a student’s preferred learning style may be significantly more important than choosing one that offers a field of study the student thinks he or she may pursue.

2.  Does the school value what I can contribute?

Each college seeks different types of students.  Some schools place great emphasis on those who excel in particular academic fields, extracurricular activities, or artistic disciplines.  Other institutions look for students with a demonstrated interest in campus leadership, volunteer work, or community activism.

Whatever your interest or background, when you connect with a school that values what you have to offer, the result is usually greater educational opportunities, enhanced financial aid rewards, and increased scholarship possibilities.

Because the college I attended valued my writing and journalism background, for example, I was offered two special learning experiences:  the opportunity to receive academic and career counseling from a famous literary scholar and former vice-presidential speechwriter, plus enrollment in a small-group freshman writing course from an award-winning novelist.

3.  Does the college challenge me to grow?

Finding academic, intellectual, and creative challenges on a college campus is a balancing act:  If the college program isn’t challenging enough, the result is often boredom and lack of student engagement.   But, if the academic and extracurricular program is too demanding for a student’s level of preparation, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and discouraged.

For each college you are considering, try to get a sense for the amount of assigned reading, the number of papers you are expected to complete, the academic drive of your classmates, and the hours per day you will likely be preparing for class.  Seek a college that has high expectations compared to what you’ve done in high school and gently pushes you a bit beyond your comfort zone.

4.  Does the campus community feel like a new home?

Recent studies have shown that students perform better and get more out of college when they feel like they are part of a close-knit community that cares for its members.  Look for colleges that provide the specific support you need to thrive academically, socially, and spiritually.

Some students may feel more comfortable at a college that has a stable atmosphere very similar to their childhood hometown.  Others may enjoy the stimulation that comes from a dynamic, constantly changing environment full of different types of people than they have encountered in the past.

In the end, whatever the answers might be, you’ll feel much better about your decision by asking these four tough questions.  By the time spring of your senior year rolls around, you’ll be able to confidently ring up your favorite college admissions office and proudly say, “I do.”