They have the substance of Wonder Bread, the rhythm and flow of an “American Idol” reject, and the structure of an amoeba floating in primordial ooze.

I’m talking about bad college admissions and scholarship essays—those that totally and utterly stink.  From serving on several scholarship-judging committees and evaluating countless student submissions over the years, I’ve become something of an expert on the art—no, the science—of writing truly terrible essays.

But where others see bad essays as part of the problem, I see them as the solution:  The best way to master the college and scholarship essay is to learn how to write a truly bad one—and then, quite simply, do the reverse.